Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
