dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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