Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
