You made me cry and you don't even care
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
