We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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