I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just invented taco cereal.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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