remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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