that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
