i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
