Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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