she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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