Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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