hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
