I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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