Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize