I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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