yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
