sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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