This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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