so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Nicole vs. Life
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
