even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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