My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
