So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
