it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
