We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
