tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
