he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
