you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
