The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
