my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
