told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
