I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
