I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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