Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize