they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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