I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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