in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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