you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
