Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
