i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
