I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
