I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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