My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
