The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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