We're facebook friends in real life
My friends, they love my intelligence
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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