i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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