"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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