Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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