You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
