I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
