Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
