i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
