Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
