ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
