Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
