So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
