I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize